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 Date:
Fri, 12 Sep 2003 From: Lara Stefansdottir  Subject: Online conflicts Friends, since starting in Kidlink I have seen many online conflicts, sometimes those I have myself and sometimes helping others to solve conflicts. Although we are now talking about handling online conflicts I want to remind you that we do have conflicts in life without the technology. Sometimes I think that the conflicts we do have online are easier because of the "distance" that is you can have time to reflect when using e-mail although you don't do it all the time. Here are reasons for common online conflicts I have found in Kidlink: Language interpretation: That is part of our Kidlinkers are talking their native language while others are using foreign language with different skills. The problem when speaking foreign language is that you can only say what you know how to say but not what you do want or intend to say. Sometimes it feels like you are walking down a path with your words, all of a sudden you don't have the right phrase and you start taking a huge bend trying to explain what could be said in one word if you just knew it. Direct translation from one language to another can change the meaning totally so the writer can be felt as offending while never meant to be other than very polite. Examples: One conflict I always remember is about a poem that a Swedish boy wrote about swimming in a wonderful day in the Swedish lakes. None of us understood why Canadian parents where extremely upset until we got interpretation from USA. The main reason for the confusion was that in Swedish "bada" is a word for swimming when "a bath" is washing yourself in English. The boy used the word bath and the meaning was lost. Here in Iceland we have a phrase when kids are young and cute that directly translated to English is very offending. Between other languages than English it is the same, I think Claus in Denmark is still laughing about it when I insisted on sleeping under the bed but it was a very easy mistake between Icelandic and Danish. Different standards in life: Other conflicts that are frequent and can be quite difficult are those that have to do with different standards people have. Examples: In the Nordic countries carrying or owning a gun is something you don't do for protection of yourself or your family. In a way it could be thought of as rather "sick". In USA at the other hand it is in many areas thought of as very important security measure. The people in the Nordic countries have different views on sXX or naked people. Where they don't even lift an eyebrow people in USA and some Arab countries shudders. Religion is another issue that can be difficult because with the religion comes traditions which people don't even realize is different in another countries. Icelanders might find it quite normal to change road constructions due to elves living in a rock but lazy to go to church while in other countries it is not accepted that people don't attend regularly to church services. School traditions Schools around the world have different standards and traditions. Examples: I remember when I was starting with my students online I got letters from abroad where people told me in a very hush hush manner that my students called me by first name. Nobody in Iceland is called by any other name than the first name, neither the president nor me. I also got letters in the same way where I was told that my students made remarks about me that wouldn't be acceptable in their school but I didn't care. Some find it important that students have dress code while others are against it. What is suitable in a curriculum in one country is not in another. This was one of the major tasks when creating the WAI and IHAD projects. We had to revise and revise again when we found issues that where not acceptable or might have turned people against using our project. Advices: If you feel offended in your communication or relation think first "This might be a misunderstanding or based on language interpretation or different standards". Then always try to find the positive reason for what is happening. If both of this fail, then think is this person worth all the emotions I am spilling on her or will I strengthen or weaken Kidlink by giving up solving this online conflict with a positive mind. When you have lost your control on your temper never use direct chat to solve things and try to find another Kidlinker to help you to solve the conflict. When it has been solved try to heal quickly so you don't carry it with you to the next time you will have to handle online conflict. Remember we are not the same, we don't think in the same way, we don't carry the same life experiences with us. What we do share is the need to create a dialogue between youth all around the world.
Lara Lára Stefánsdóttir, lara@lara.is, http://www.lara.is Akureyri, Iceland, MSN: lara@lara.is Tel: +354-461-4761, GSM: +354-896-3357, Fax: +354-461-4761 Chairman of: 3F - National association on ICT and education Assistant director of Kidlink. http://www.kidlink.org |
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Updated
by Odd de Presno - September
1, 2004.
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